the cold-side of mi getting stronger.

sense it?
i dun tink so.

i am not the same anymore.

a little evil.
a little anti-social.
a little self-protective.
a little passive.

veri apathetic.
veri sulky.
veri pessimistic.

no longer smiling from within my heart.
no longer feeling bless.
no longer feeling cheerful.
no longer energetic.

too stubborn.
too arrogant.
too lazy.

not tat i dun wan to be the "organiser".
but how do i be one when i am totally NOT interested?
i am forced.
forced to take wad i am given alreadi.
i'd learnt.
life is much easier fer mi tis way.

once again,
passion dun burn fereva.
each cold blanket thrown on mi extinguishes the fire in me.
the fire is finally gone now.
happie?

being the "glue" is nv an easy job fer mi.
if u tink all tat i hab done seems onli appropriate.
tink again.
i dun owe u.
let mi be honest here.
i do things onli when i tink it's worth it.
u dun make mi feel i'm impt.
how do u expect mi to prioritise u?

dun blame mi.
i know i am responsible fer all these.
and i know wad i nid to do to revert back.

but the question is.

why shd i?