when one starts going lucky,
it simply means there is bad times ahead.



she's terrible.
real terrible.
and i am worst than a beast to criticise her here.

mei mei,
we must stay strong okie?
jie jie loves u.
nvm wad she says,
let's jus close both ears to her.
she's getting too ridiculous.
there's more of her pride and ego than her love fer us in her heart.

i'm jus wondering,
do u know we hab been crying to sleep?
do u know how much i hate the life i'm leading now?
do u know i still misses daddy so much like he jus left us a min ago?
do u know u can actualli put down ur pride, go out and find urself a job to make all our lives easier?
do u know if u see more of us than money in ur eyes, we could be much happier?
do u know i am pushing myself so hard alreadi but it jus dun seems to satisfy u?
do u know i'm crying so hard now, jus becos u dunno any of these?
DO U KNOW?

we are NOT superkids.

and i dun reall feel guilty fer not giving u any allowance,
fer not greeting u when i reached home,
fer spending so much time out of the house,
fer prioritsing practically everyone else above u,
fer hoping tat i could study overseas(to get away from u),
fer loving daddy more than loving u,
fer hating u fer all my bad childhood memories,
fer wishing tat i'm not ur biological daughter...

becos i'm paying fer all the phone bills u created by making so many phone calls,
becos u gave mi a super black face to "welcome" mi home,
becos i dun wan to hear u nag or chant,
becos u dun treat mi as good as any of the ppl i know,
becos tis is more like a house than a home to me,
becos daddy is the onli one who truely dotes on me,
becos u hab been ill-treating mi,
becos i dun believe tis is how much u love ur own daughter...

i finally understood.


u will never, ever,

change.