it feels incredibly relieving to be sitting before my desktop now.
i dun wanna comment more on how fucked up things were for the last 4 days.
well, it sort of pushed mi so close to my tolerance for bullshit.
so much of it tat i felt like walking out on it.
I had a very bad sore throat now becos of it.

luckily i have support from ppl ard mi.
I LOVE RSPHI. (:

i dun care anymore.
i wanna complain for all i can in this entry.

I dun have a happy family, and i dun need to create false impression tat i have one too.
they are screwing up my life so much, but i cannot abandon them.
i hate them sometimes. on the serious note, i'm tinking of moving out.
"have u paid the bills?" this is the only thing u are concerned with.
PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKE, OTHER THAN ME, WHO ELSE WILL PAY IT NOW?!
DO YOU EVEN NEED TO ASK?!
YOU ARE WORRIED ABT THEM BUT U SLEPT THRU IT AND WATCHED MI SUFFERED.
tat's veri nice.

i'm so into saving money in whatever possible ways,
i dun feel like eating out with my friends,
going for outings, watch any movie, or stay out late for the nite.
I cant skip any work/tuition becos it would mean less income for next month.
every dollar counts, you see.
as a result, i have no energy and no mood even when i'm with my friends.
and becos i skipped so many outings, i dun even know wad they are toking abt.
gradually, i simply dun tok anymore.
i appeared in front of them for the sake of appearing.
they are unhappy, and i cant help it too.

the dark eye rings are getting worst. i wanna die. i hate the stupid idiot who shd be working but isn't working and made mi so fucking miserable. i hate him so much i dun even wanna see his idiotic face. what a parasitic-human.

at the end of the day, i realised who are the ones who truely cares, and who doesn't.
i miss the only person who will rmb tat i hate organising outing and would organise it in place of me.
i miss the only person who will worry that i haben eaten my dinner and buy sth for me.

even when i was super late for work on one occasion, the first thing my colleagues asked wasn't:"why are u late?"
but, "have u taken dinner already?"
something tat my own mother won't even bother to ask.

well, basically, everything is screwed up in my life now.
i have no shoulders to lean on.
no one to fall back on.
no home to go back to.
no support from anyone.

P.S. everthing tat happened were fabricated. they did not exist before.